My name is Eric, and I’m an Alcoholic. I’m also – a son, a brother, an uncle, a boyfriend, a friend to so many I could almost lose count.
I first came to CFR a little more than a year ago. My journey of how I got here is long and painful. Maybe I’ll share it with you one day, but for now I’ll just say, my life was unmanageable.
Everyone and everything I came into contact with crumbled. I had so much pain and so much fear. My life was in a constant state of damage control, and I was suffering an unbearable existence. I needed help. I wasn’t very good at asking for help – It wasn’t something I received at home – It wasn’t a value that was transmitted to me so I never felt natural asking for help.
I always thought that help was given to some poor fool, floundering about in the ocean. Then someone throws him a LIFE PRESERVER and pulls him in. He’s cold and scared and eternally grateful (another thing I had a problem with.) Being plucked from the abyss only to land onto the deck of salvation is one of the most incredible feelings you can have in life. It gives you a sense of perspective that too few of us truly appreciate and too many of us fall victim to.
All my life I have suffered – All my life I have lost – or so I thought. You see – in this last year, I made a decision. I wanted to stop getting what I was getting and I needed help to stop doing what I was doing. I needed someone to help pluck me from the ocean of my dears and the inevitable end I was facing. I needed to know I wasn’t alone.
I came to CFR with all my baggage, all my dear, and all my anger – and all my pain. And I found compassion. In this last year I took a chance and put my trust in someone. I’ve had an awakening – a new interpretation of old ideas and I have been shown another way.
Someone once said, “If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” I believe that – But first you have to be willing – there has to be a desire and with that desire, a willingness to commit yourself wholly to the action necessary to save what’s let of who you are and what’s left of your life.
To the men and women of CFR and to the beautiful people in the program – I am grateful.
You have shown me that I do have a life worth living and that my future self is counting on my today; that the grass is always greener where you water it. I’m not telling you it’ll be easy – But I am telling you it’ll be worth it.
MY NAME IS ERIC
AND I AM
AND TODAY IS A GOOD DAY