I was working in Napa February 23, 2012. One of those dreaded phone calls came " Mom, I've screwed up." (stronger language was used that day). You see I've received many of these phone calls over the years. This time seemed different. It was. My youngest son was in trouble AGAIN! This was a direct result of his drug & alcohol use! Abuse!!!!!! "I've been detained. The officer knows I use drugs & I told him you know this too."
I was very aware my son used drugs. It had been my reoccurring nightmare for many years. I was numb to these type of phone calls and figured I'd just go pick him up. The nightmare would continue after I picked him up, because it always had.
"The officer would like to talk to you." "Hello Ms. W." " I understand you know your son is an addict?" We discussed what I knew and I wanted to know when I could pick him up. The officer explained to me I had two options. "What?" "I will release him to you only if you take him to rehab" OR "I will have him taken to county jail." I had been pleading with my son for so long to get help. He kind of did but not really. He had seen a Dr. named Von Stieff but had done nothing asked of him. I chose to come get him and find him some help. This was the worst day of my life! Or was it?
On my way to pick up my son I was pulled over by a sheriff for talking on my cell phone. When the officer approached the window I calmly said "My son is an addict." He replied " everything is going to be ok." He let me go on my way after a brief conversation as to what was going on. He told me to go and do what I needed to do. Boy, was he right!!!
The next day I brought my son to CFR.
Wait! I had another son still out there using.
My heart was happy and tangled at the same time.
YES! Both my sons are addicts!!!! I have cried for so long, I didn't know if I could shed another tear.
Once my youngest son entered the program, I was informed of a family group and education series on the disease of addiction. The first Saturday of my son's treatment, I attended the group. I don't remember much, except I cried and felt overwhelmed.
I started to attend the Saturday morning group on a regular basis.In this group I have learned it is for me. How do I carry on with my life as a mother with two sons as addicts? Today, I attend the meeting as much as I can. I want to give back what was so freely given to me. I want to help comfort those family members who come in just as I did. Letting them know they do not have to do this alone! Moms have a special…
Moms have a special place in my heart. I understand the grief we go through when our children are abusing substances.
Remember when I said it was the worst day of my life? I've come to understand it was a blessing for our family! My Higher Power has grand plans for me!! And my boys! My whole family!!! Since that day in February 2012, both the boys have come through CFR. Pure miracles! Both are clean as far as I know. You see I don't have my life revolve around them. I believe with the help of a Higher Power, The recovery community, and the courage to work my own program, I have been given my life back. Not quite the way I had planned, but truly blessed. My relationships with my boys AND my daughter have blossomed. My oldest son's dad and I are no longer together. We took different paths and are fulfilling our hopes and dreams apart
When I arrived at CFR, I learned I was a dry drunk. I had not had a drink in many years but I also had not been active in a recovery program. I'm happy to say I now attend A.A. meetings on a regular basis. Wow! Have I learned so much about my self. I kinda like who I have become. I have even met the love of my life in the rooms of A.A.
I continue to work my programs for me! I'm a grateful member of Naranon. A group where we support families and friends of addicts. Like CFR they have helped me find serenity! I continue to be an active member of FSAA and enjoy my journey every day. I know this is a life long disease, but if I'm willing to do some work and have faith, my life will have some serenity.
No longer does fear control my life. The Serenity Prayer reminds me to have faith, courage and pray for wisdom.
I hope when you see me, you say hello. If you would like to talk, you will call me.
Miracles happen everyday. I need to be open minded and have faith there are miracles waiting to happen for my family and me! I have witnessed many since that day in 2012.
Keep coming back it works if I work it and I'm worth it! I know you are all worth it too!