July 2, 2017

    I had a great childhood - devoted parents,nice community, all of what I needed and mostof what I wanted. However, I was not a "normal"child. I'm one of the members they talk aboutwith a "grave emotional and mental disorders" -although I think that's quite a morbid way ofviewing it - and it's called OCD. I can rememberbeing 4 or 5 and walking down the stairs withmy hand on the railing and getting all the waydown only to feel like it wasn't done "right", so Iwould go up and down maybe 10-15 more timesto make sure it was done "correctly".

    Being so young, I didn't know what was goingon, so I kept it a secret from my family for along time, 15 years. But I'll back up a bit. Thefirst time I drank when I was 14, I drank alcoholically.I blacked out, threw up, passed out,and couldn't wait to do it again. While I stillperformed OCD rituals, I found that alcohol andother drugs gave me that "just right" feelingthat I had been searching for all along. Allthroughout high school I was...

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